Your ability to deal constructively and
effectively with mistakes and temporary setbacks is a mental skill that you can
learn and become proficient at. The best way to deal with any failure is to
realize that it is an indispensable prerequisite for success. You have to treat
failure as an opportunity to lean, and begin again. You can overcome the fear
of failure by doing the things you fear over and over again, and then resolve
to bounce back, rather than letting them break you when things don’t go right.
The fear of failure is the greatest single
obstacle to success for most people. It is the fear of failure that causes
people to see the world in negative terms and creates obstacles in their own
mind that don’t exist in reality. The fear of failure can be so strong that
most people give up before they even begin because of fear that they will loose
their time, money, or emotions in a new venture or relationship. Many people
today operate at levels of effectiveness far below their capabilities because
of the overwhelming effect of this fear.
The starting point in overcoming the fear of
failure is to realize that it is impossible to achieve success of any kind
without failure. Mistakes are opportunities to learn something new, something
you did not know before. The more mistakes you make, the more you will learn.
There is even a bit of magic hidden in every mistake. So the more mistakes you make
the more magic you will have in your life.
Virtually all men and women of high achievement
have been great failures throughout much their lives. Thomas Edison failed in
thousands of experiments to develop synthetic rubber, the light bulb, new plant
species, and hundreds of other breakthroughs that eventually changed our entire
world.
Levi Strauss headed for the gold fields of
Christopher Columbus was looking for a trade
route to
When you make a mistake, it is important that
you accept it. Believe it or not, studies have shown that most people fail on
average 70 percent of the time. Some people more and others less.
Successful people prosper in life is because of
their tendency to cut their losses thereby minimizing their mistakes. It is
only when a person refuses to accept that they have made a bad choice or
decision and prolongs it, that a mistake becomes extremely expensive and
hurtful to his or her future. The inability or unwillingness to face the fact
that you are not perfect, that you have made bad choices and decisions that
have turned into mistakes, is a major source of stress.
This is why the quality of “intellectual
honesty” is one of the most respected qualities in a person, especially
leaders. When you are intellectually honest, you will look at the world and
deal with your circumstances as facts and realities, rather than hoping,
wishing, and praying that they would or could be different. The minute you
begin to deal straightforwardly with life, you will become a far more positive,
creative, and constructive person.
There is a lesson in every mistake. That is why
you must learn from every mistake you make. Making mistakes is the way we were
all designed to learn. If we fail to make mistakes, or make them and do not
learn from them, the magic goes out of life. Life goes backward and gets
smaller, instead of expansive and filled with magic. Whenever we make a
mistake, we often become upset. And being upset is our maker’s way of telling
us that we need to learn something. It is a tap on our shoulder saying, “Pay
attention. You have something important to learn.” If we lie, blame, justify,
or deny the upset, we will waste the precious gem of wisdom that is in every
mistake.
When you make a mistake one of the first things
you should do is to define the problem or mistake clearly. Then, ask yourself:
What happened, or what is the problem that needs to be solved? Then write it
down. When you write the problem down on paper, you’ll be able see it more
clearly. You’ll then be able to understand it better and it will be easier for
you to find a solution.
Then you should define all the possible causes
of the mistake or problem. Ask yourself, How did this happen? Why did it
happen? What were the critical variables that caused the problem or mistake?
After you have defined the problem clearly in
writing and all the possible causes, then you need to identify all the possible
solutions, or ways of dealing with it. Ask yourself: What are all the different
things that I could do to minimize the cost of the mistake, or to solve the
problem that has arisen? The more ideas you have, the more likely it is that
you will come up with an idea, or combination of ideas, that will solve the
problem or correct the mistake.
Successful people do not make the right
decisions all the time. Rather, successful people make their decisions right.
Many of the decisions you make and conclusions you come to in life, will
eventually prove wrong. It is how you deal these situations that will determine
your success or failure.
Life is a continuous succession of problems and
mistakes, but it is not what happens to you, rather it is how you react to what
happens to you that makes all the difference in your life. You have within you,
the ability to learn from every mistake, to extract every valuable lesson that
is contained in every difficulty, situation, or challenge that you face. You
have the intelligence to turn every stumbling block into a stepping stone, or
springboard toward higher achievement.
Mistakes and problems are good. Without them
there would be no opportunities for success or greatness. If there are no
problems to solve, then there are no possibilities for success and achievement.
If you want to be successful, you must take every difficulty and challenge that
life throws at you, accept it as an inevitable part of the growing experience,
and then turn it to your advantage in every way possible. Almost every mistake
you make contains a hidden treasure that you can take and apply to your future
to make your life into something extraordinary and worthwhile. And when you become
a master at learning and growing from the inevitable mistakes you make, your
future will become unlimited.
Copyright©2004 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.
Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many businesses around the world on the subjects of leadership, achievement, goals, strategic business planning, and marketing.
Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com
Read more articles and newsletters at: www.jlmandassociates.com